By Beatrice Jeschek

© Lynsey Addario for The New York Times

They see burning as their one way out of poverty, forced marriages or other kinds of unbearable cruelties life has to offer: Afghan women choose matches and cooking fuel to escape their faiths.

When divorce and an independent life appear to be unthinkable, it seems to empower these women in the only way they know.


In her article called “For Afghan Wives, a Desperate, Fiery Way Out”, Alissa J. Rubin opens a powerful window for the Western readership to see how day-to-day life in Afghanistan scars women for life – so intensely, that they see no healing, no escape other than erasing these open wounds by setting themselves on fire.

The following gives fragments of Rubin's article (cited) and evaluates the situation for Afghan women under the aspect of suppressed cultural taboos.

Burning is personal

How desperate one must be feeling when committing suicide? Even more so when deliberately turning oneself to the cruel fire death?

Women might consider jumping from a roof top but are worried they would only break her leg. Mistakenly, they think when setting themselves on fire, all will be over.

© Lynsey Addario for The New York Times

Burning in Afghanistan has many faces. One of them belongs to Farzana (pictured above, left) who spoke to Rubin in Afghanistan.

"Engaged at 8 and married at 12, Farzana resorted to setting herself on fire when her father-in-law belittled her, saying she was not brave enough to do so. She was 17 and had endured years of beatings and abuse from her husband and his family," Rubin spins her story.

"Defiant and depressed, she went into the yard. She handed her husband their 9-month-old daughter so the baby would not see her mother burning. Then she poured cooking fuel on herself," the author continues.

The burn victim told Rubin that she felt such pain in her heart and very angry at her husband and her mother-in-law. The feelings seemed to have overwhelmed her. So, she took the matches and lit herself.

“I thought of running away from that house, but then I thought: what will happen to the name of my family?” Farzana said. “No one in our family has asked for divorce. So how can I be the first?”

Burning, Rubin argues, is a common form of suicide in Afghanistan, partly because the tools to do it are so readily available. Through early October, 75 women arrived with burns at the Herat hospital — most self-inflicted, others only made to look that way. That is up nearly 30 percent from last year.

The numbers reveal less than the stories of the patients.

Stories as told by Rubin paint a dark picture of day-to-day life for Afghan women. We may not be able to add some colour, or to change the picture. But we can try to break the silence and draw attention towards the issue, which national authorities tend to ignore or underestimate.


In Afghanistan it is shameful to admit to have troubles at home. Also, mental illness often goes undiagnosed or untreated. According to Rubin who talked to the hospital staff Ms. Zada probably suffered from depression.

The choices for Afghan women are extraordinarily restricted: Their family equals fate.

There is little chance for education, little choice about whom a woman marries, no choice at all about her role in her own house. Her primary job is to serve her husband’s family. Outside that world, she is an outcast.

Victims of honour

“If you run away from home, you may be raped or put in jail and then sent home and then what will happen to you?” asked Rachel Reid, a researcher for Human Rights Watch who tracks violence against women.

Honour killings as described in an article by Stephanie Victoria Schmitt in The Kosmo tell a whole different side of the same story. If a woman ever returns from a getaway, she risks to be shot or stabbed by her own family. Women and girls are still stoned to death.

What happens when a woman burns herself and survives?

Rubin argues "she might be relegated to a grinding Cinderella existence while her abusive husband marries another, untainted woman."

The most sinister burn cases are often actually homicides masquerading as suicides, doctors, nurses and human rights workers have revealed.

Doctors cited two recent cases where women were beaten by their husbands or in-laws, lost consciousness and awoke in the hospital to find themselves burned because they had been shoved in an oven or set on fire.

Even in this case, most Afghan women do not react. Divorce is not a common option.

This article was first published 09/11/2010 on maltastar.com.